Problem: Racism from Minorities

Some months ago I was flipping channels, marveling at the vast array and sheer number of Black sitcoms in relative proportion to the number of Blacks in the US, when I paused on one nameless and, as sitcoms always prove, pointless example to explore the merits of a minority-oriented sitcom. I was a BIG fan of The Cosby Show, and it never occurred to me, until I took the time to peruse today's Black sitcoms, that I enjoyed The Cosby Show not because it was a Black sitcom, but because it was a FAMILY sitcom.

So I'm watching this random Black sitcom -- I still don't know what it was, and for all I know, it's off the air now, gone the way of most sitcoms -- and am utterly and completely shocked at the scene I'm watching. Three women, two Black and one White, are in a kitchen making pie. The White woman is apparently dating a Black friend of the other two women, and reminds the two women that her significant other prefers graham cracker crusts to traditional pie crusts. One Black woman looks at the other and says, very significantly, "Yeah, we KNOW he likes his crackers."

Now, I'm sorry, but if the tables were turned, and the women were in a restaurant, and the White-turned-Black woman was to say to the two Black-turned-White women that when it comes to giving a waiter a tip, her boyfriend is a bit niggardly, and if the two Black-turned-White women were to look at each other and say, "Yeah, we KNOW he likes being niggard," ALL HELL WOULD BREAK LOOSE. The writers, actors, producers, director, EVERYONE involved would be black-balled. There would be a supreme court hearing. Jesse Jackson would scream Armageddon. Heck, you're having a heart attack just reading the word niggard!

Go to dictionary.com. According to them, the noun means "an excessively parsimonious, miserly, or stingy person," and so, in the above-referenced scenario, makes perfect sense. It is the play on words, as it is with the "cracker" comment, that make it so offensive. In fact, the word "niggard" is so often associated with the offensive word "nigger" that people fear to use it...and for excellent reason. I'll provide 2 examples, the first of which can be found on dictionary.com when you scroll a bit further down the page. One Christopher Hitchens relates a story about a speech he gave in DC: "It was while giving a speech in Washington, to a very international audience, about the British theft of the Elgin marbles from the Parthenon. I described the attitude of the current British authorities as 'niggardly.' Nobody said anything, but I privately resolved—having felt the word hanging in the air a bit—to say 'parsimonious' from then on." Mr. Hitchens was lucky. David Howard, aide to the BLACK mayor of D.C. Anthony Williams, used the word during a budget discussion...and was asked to tender his resignation. Of course, this particular story had a happy ending: Mr. Howard is gay, and the gay community pressured the mayor to perform an internal review. Howard was offered his job back, and he declined, accepting a different position in the mayor's office instead. Amazingly enough, the NAACP spoke with intelligence about the issue (rather than follow its standard modus operandi by screaming hate and intolerance): Julian Bond, NAACP's chairman at the time, stated "You hate to think you have to censor your language to meet other people’s lack of understanding." He also acknowledged, "We have a hair-trigger sensibility, and I think that is particularly true of racial minorities."

But back to my point. I'm baffled by the black women's reference to "cracker" during a sitcom. I can't think of many racial slurs for whites, but cracker, honky, and ghost are up at the top of the list. And I'm offended. But I'm equally offended by nigger, kike, wap, fob, spic, towel head, gook, jap, and any number of Polish jokes. That I even know these words makes me sick to my stomach, and I'd never use any of them...even in jest. However, the use of "cracker" by a black woman is supposed to be not only fine but amusing, and I am supposed to laugh at the racial slur because it is directed at the majority rather than at a minority.

By the way, according to our government, as of 2020, whites will no longer by the majority in the US. The majority will be Hispanic...some born in the US, some entering illegally. But that's another blog.

Speaking of Hispanics, a few months back, my little town of Anaheim, CA had a festival at a local park. A Hispanic/Latino festival. Shouldn't surprise me...according to the 2000 census -- SEVEN years ago! -- 47% of Anaheim's population was Hispanic. (Whites made up 36%.) Anaheim also hosts a Hispanic Heritage Month, has a League of Latin Americans, holds occasional Latin "Concerts in the Park," and has a massive Cinco de Mayo celebration yearly. I don't necessarily feel excluded from any of these things based on MY heritage, but I certainly don't feel welcome when I appear at a Latin cultural festival...nor do I generally feel welcome when I walk into Gigante, the (virtually next-door) grocery store where I buy my produce, tortillas, masa, etc. My favorite Latino Anaheim story, though, comes from an old friend of mine who was eager to be involved with the PTA at her daughter's school: she attended the first meeting and was forced to discontinue her attendance because the meetings were conducted in Spanish. It seems that the VAST majority of parents party to the PTA at that particular elementary school were Hispanic and did not (or would not) speak English, so my friend was precluded from serving her daughter's classroom and elementary based on her inability to speak Spanish. In the USA, people.

It's not just the grocery store or the PTA...I PAY to be belittled! About 18 months ago I was very pregnant with my daughter and I took my son to Chuck E. Cheese to play. I spent some money on tokens, watched him bounce up and down on the most inane "rides," and as he dismounted one and ran toward another, he collided with an equally excited little girl. It happens. But this little girl was Hispanic, and her mother immediately began to yell at my son, accusing him of pushing her daughter and being a vicious "white kid." Now, if my son pushes, hits, kicks, or in any way injures anyway else, I'm the first to attend to the situation. But this was an accident -- a midair collision between two eager kids -- and I attempted to explain just that. Within seconds, she retorted with swear words, yelling at the top of her lungs that I was a "white b***h", and had to be dragged out by three of her friends, all their kids in tow, to prevent the woman from trying to attack me bodily. I did not insult her, I did not once reference her ethnicity, I never raised my voice, except after her racial slur, when I asked very loudly what her problem was. Maybe she got up on the wrong side of the bed that morning, I don't know, but whatever it was, my skin pigment upset her that day.

But I digress. In the United States, my sweet husband is among the most hated people alive: his is 30, he is white, he is male, he is a college-educated white-collar worker, he is Mormon, and he is a registered Republican. Short of working for the IRS, he could not be MORE hated by the general population. Automatically, his very existence is "unfair" to minorities. Because his is young and white and male, he is responsible for the repression of EVERYONE else: minorities, all age-ranges, and women. Because he is college-educated and a white-collar employee, he has taken away jobs and opportunities from others. Because he is both religious and conservative, he has ruined the lives of non-believers, BELIEVERS, (remember, he's Mormon!) and liberals, as well as all those that the foundation of liberal thought is intended to "protect." I am here, however, to focus on his being white.

White. My husband, I myself, my children...we are identified by the word used to describe an absence of color. Not by my husband's half-Polish heritage, not by my quarter-Italian heritage, not even by our children's European conglomerate heritage. Not by our heritage at all. Our hot dog-loving, baseball-watching (except we don't fancy baseball, honestly), church-attending, English-speaking culture is not recognized as a culture at all. We -- we white people -- are discriminated against. Because others think we believe ourselves to be better than are they, we, in turn, are loathed for their skewed perceptions of our thought processes. And that angers me.

A friend of mine brought up racism lately, and commented that there was no such thing as "reverse racism." I started to get a little worked up, considering some of the things I've experienced, when she explained her meaning: racism is racism, no matter who it comes from. It's not "reverse," as though the only people who could possibly be racist are white. It's just plain racism. Blacks are racist, Koreans are racist, East Indians are racist...there's nothing reverse about it. Everyone has the potential to be racist, myself included, but I do make an active attempt to NOT be.

Why is it so surprising that I DON'T think in terms of skin pigment? Why is it surprising that I buy masa and make and steam and eat tamales? Why are people surprised when my 3 year-old son doesn't bat an eye at his uncle Victor's "tan", a second-generation American-born man of Hispanic heritage? Yes, my sister's husband is Hispanic, and the only people who ever thought twice about her marrying a man of Mexican heritage was her husband's family!

Perhaps this is a problem that can never be solved...maybe minorities, even when they become majorities, will continue to exhibit racist tendencies toward "white folk." But from my point of view, anything we can do as individuals will help. You see, we as a people think in terms of race. What race? There is only one race that I know of, and that's the human race. Mexicans are from Mexico, or they have a family heritage from Mexico as descendants of those who once lived there. Poles are from Poland, as was my husband's grandmother who emigrated here as a young woman, and my husband is half Polish as a result. I am of mixed European descent (though my mother mostly recognizes her half-Italian heritage). White is not a race, contrary to Hitler's beliefs. Black is not a race. Asian is not a race. We are not skin pigments. We are ethnicities. We are PEOPLE. None are superior or inferior unless, by their individual behaviors, they make themselves so. My husband is no better than our black next door neighbor. He is no better than the elderly white guy across the courtyard in our apartment complex. Perhaps he makes more money than the black man. Perhaps he is better-educated than the elderly gent. Perhaps he is a more faithful saint than a fellow church-goer, but as a son of God, he is neither better nor more favored than anyone else. He has only chosen a specific path for his life, and it includes eating grilled hot dogs and watching football with friends. It includes supporting a family as an accountant and serving his God via voluntary administrative assistance to his ecclesiastical leader. And he is, above all, an individual member of the human race.

Now, some of you are saying, "but the Blacks were repressed! We were enslaved! We were denied the right to vote, segregated, lynched!" That's true, and I'm not debating that fact. In some areas today blacks are victimized, as are so many other cultures and ethnicities and peoples. But I didn't do it. I don't do it. My ancestors didn't do it. And even if they had, why am I, a 29 year-old woman, being held responsible for the sins of those who came before me? Again, am I not, too, an individual member of the human race, capable of making my own judgements and content to treat people with the respect that they, as individuals, deserve? Then don't treat me like I'm a racist by default, and don't treat me like I deserve less because I happened to be born to more. I won't treat you like a racist or like you deserve anything other than the simple and earnest respect I offer everyone else, either...unless you prove otherwise. But not until then.

The solution? If you're a racist, grow up. Make a special visit to the Museum of Tolerance in Los Angeles, if you have to, but do something to help yourself understand that people are part of ONE race -- the HUMAN race -- and that different ethnic heritages have different things to offer, not the least of which is food...yum. If you're inclined to believe that people must earn respect before you offer it to them, no matter who they are, grow up. It's time to be an adult. People are people, and are innocent until proven guilty, as it were...deserving of respect until they prove otherwise. Celebrate the upcoming MLK Jr. Day by teaching your children to respect...teach them that skin pigment does not a person make. Talk to your family, friends, church members, coworkers...and expect nothing less from them than appropriate respect. Let them know your expectation that they abstain from expecting behaviors from an individual based on that individual's ethnic background. And do not yield, or you condone.

Problem solved,
Mommy