Before you ask, YES, this is a problem. There are many grown women not prepared to be mothers, so the very idea that an irresponsible teenager who selfishly refused to abstain from adult activities or who couldn't figure out how not to get pregnant in the first place being "ready" to parent is ludicrous. Teen mothers are statistically highly unlikely to finish high school, and as much as 80% of teen mothers end up on welfare. (see pregnancy-info.net) I could spend most of this rant specifying ways in which teenage girls and boys are not capable of being of true parenting, (I admit that they may be able to keep a baby alive, but there's a difference between sustaining life and truly parenting,) but any adult parent and most adult non-parents will not find it a stretch when I claim that a 15 year-old girl makes for an assuredly incompetent parent.The problem is that when these children are suddenly begetting children themselves, we give them the option of keeping the child. I know a woman who had her first baby at 15; her eldest daughter had her first baby at 15 as well (a girl), and I fear that that poor child is doomed to repeat the actions of those before her. The woman's second daughter has repeated the grievous mistake, and in fact planned to do so when her elder sister gave birth and she saw how wonderful it was to have a baby. At 15, she had her first, and summarily decided with her boyfriend that "they wanted their kids to be about a year apart in age." She is now VERY pregnant with her second child, and is not yet seventeen. What will become of the children she has borne and has yet to bear? I'm certain they will survive babyhood and early childhood, but at what age will they opt to become parents? Mightn't they have a better chance if they were adopted by a competent pair of adults?
What I am about to say is controversial, at best, but we're solving the world's problems here, right? Scan an adoption service website, and you will find it replete with wonderful, wise, wealthy, and above all, loving couples desperate to begin a family...only their organs will not permit it. Meanwhile, in the last year for which we have statistics, courtesy of the Census, 2000 saw our country producing 821,810 teen pregnancies, not including all those that ended in abortion. Yes, folks, you read that right: OVER EIGHT HUNDRED TWENTY THOUSAND teens became mothers that year.
So here's where I up-and-get controversial. By offering the following, I provide a solution to three problems: responsible, married adults who are unable to conceive will have greater opportunities to adopt, underage pregnant women will have a greater opportunity to finish high school and be, therefore, less likely to become dependent upon welfare, and unborn babies will have the opportunity to be raised and loved by stable, responsible adults. Ready? If a child is under 18, or will be at the time they will give birth, and were not legally married with permission of their parents prior to becoming pregnant, a mandatory adoption policy should be enacted. Youths will be paired with childless parents eager to adopt, social services will be present at the time of birth to acquire the baby and transport it to adoption facilities, and the adoptive parents can take the baby home. If the youth giving birth is comfortable doing what is best for the child they have borne, adoptive parents may be present at the hospital; otherwise, adoptive parents will receive the baby at the aforementioned facilities.
The exception to the rule is a signed affidavit from the parents of the pregnant youth accepting complete parental responsibility for their grand baby; this will be an unpopular movement, obviously, and there needs to be a legitimate loophole for grandchild retention, but as a general rule, the babies of children should not be raised by the horrendously foolish youths who conceive them.
Okay, people...let rip with the criticism. I stand by my solution.
Problem solved,
Mommy
2 comments:
I cannot express my horror at your bigotry and prejudice.
So, as a society where teen motherhood was the norm two hundred years ago, we are all doomed, since we were parented wrongly?
Or is right to rip a child from its mother? No it is not.
These women can make good mothers, and what you are suggesting is horrible atrocious and revolting. It sickens me to my stomach that you would even comprehend saying those things.
As for the research...well, I do not know where the data is taken...you see, not a single teenage mother I know has ever being involved in some sort of research project...seriuosly, where are they gettign these figures?
It is not about age. It is about the family and social support systems we have around them.
But then, why am I writing this? You really seem to have not just no heart but also very little grey matter, I doubt I can change your...what is it? ah yes, mind.
I said I wanted people to let rip with criticism, and here we are! I cannot express my frustration with your response; teen motherhood was the norm 200 years ago because the life expectancy of the average human was 50-60 years, and most people lived and continued to live with or near their families for generations, which is why they survived. Such is not the case now. These women can make decent mothers...perhaps you noticed that I agreed as much...and perhaps the teen mothers you know delivered in a hospital, as well, or registered for welfare at some point, or even submitted their information to the Census, which is legally required; each of those individual organizations is required by law to compile data, hence the very correct information had by a "research project."
It is very much about age and inexperience and lack of wisdom. If you read my blog carefully, you'll also have noted that the loophole I suggested allows for the care and concern of extended family who are often willing to step in and raise the children of children. Perhaps with such legislation, however, we may be able to lower (or even prevent!) teen pregnancy. You see, just about every other well-developed country has numbers significantly below our own...perhaps, finally, here is a solution to encouraging 15 year-olds to be what they are -- 15 year-olds -- instead of encouraging them to take on the care and teaching of a newborn babe, for which they are painfully unprepared. Again, I stand by the conviction of my heart, and no, you have no changed my mind...but then again, you didn't use your own to argue the capacity a teen might have to raise an upstanding citizen...only argued my lack of heart and mind. Post again and explain to me how a 16 year-old girl is a more competant parents than a couple of educated, compassionate, married 35 year-olds. Then I'll entertain your arguments.
Mommy
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